I KNOW. I AM IN SHOCK TOO. The best surprise ever!
Right after we found out, I was up in the night with nausea, and tried to distract myself by writing. I wrote this in my notes at like 3 AM to help me remember the exact feelings, emotions, and details of how we found out. I wrote this for myself, and never imagined I would share it, because it’s not quality writing by any means, but I thought you guys may like to hear the full story, too. So, here we are. Enjoy, and please disregard my many typos and the TMI you may read below LOL!
Leading Up- Sunday
“On June 12, 2022 Hayden and I woke up to head to church at New Vision Baptist in Murfreesboro. We got to church, had Dunkin, sat with Mom, Aunt Mandy and Uncle Sam. The message was talking about being a man, and the roles of being a man. As we worshiped with Daniel Doss, I began to feel my eyes fill up with tears. I wasn’t really sure why, but I felt like crying… a lot. As I dried up my tears, the service ended and we headed to our usual Sunday lunch spot, Chuys.
I was supposed to have had a chicken enchilada but they brought me a cheese enchilada so I just ate that, LOL. Hayden and I got in the car to make the 30 minute drive home and I felt so anxious. I was pressing my teeth together, head pushed back on the seat, slapping my thighs, as I do. I was in tears telling him to get me home soon. We got home and I went straight to the bathroom feeling nauseous, thought I was going to be sick. So Hayden made me something to eat to help me feel better, because I thought maybe I was just still really hungry.
That particular Sunday afternoon, Notre Dame baseball was playing against #1 Tennessee. A guy I went to high school with, Brooks Coetzee plays for ND. So of course I was rooting for them! We had it on our big TV, cheering for ND together. And they won! But the second I saw the Tennessee players realize they lost I began sobbing. I felt so horrible knowing they were so sad. I cheered up after a bit, and we worked on some financial planning I had been working on.
Around dinner time, we were trying to decide what to eat. Hayden was out on the back porch with me trying to choose where to get food from. I was craving Olive Garden as usual LOL. But I was also feeling so stressed with the money, and portions and I basically hit my breaking point. Again started crying and told Hayden to figure it out and let me know what he decided. I got in the shower and was feeling really sad. I totally assumed this was because my Lexapro refill had not been approved for too long, so I had been out of medication. We rode over to get food, and I felt better for the evening.
Leading Up- Monday
Monday I had therapy and some work meetings. During therapy I told Sarah I had wondered if I was pregnant or something after so many tears the day before. And in a meeting with my boss Ellen I also brought it up, like “Well I guess there’s a slight possibility I’m pregnant”. Then it was stuck in my head. Monday is usually leg day but, I told Hayden I wanted to do yoga instead just in case. We worked out, came home and had a chill evening.
Leading Up- Tuesday
Tuesday rolls around, and I’m feelin’ touchy, LOL. Literally everything was hurting my feelings and I was so emotional. Hayden helped me calm down (AGAIN, lol), and we talked and had our homemade pizza for supper. We sat and watched the Brady Bunch. During dinner I asked Hayden if he could give me a ride to Publix to pick up a pregnancy test. Of course he said yes, and off we went! We ran to the Publix by our house, and I was feeling so eager to know the answer, I was shaky and cold and jittery. We got inside, set up my phone to record myself taking the test, and got the show on the road.
I sat down to pee, and immediately flipped the test over, and set the timer for three minutes. We counted those eternal seconds down. And then we flipped it over to see it was…. broken. The test was broken. I was SO annoyed. I was so anxious to know if it was positive or negative, and we waited for 18 minutes to see if that test would work. It didn’t. So I chugged another glass of water, and tried another test. I peed again, and flipped the test upside down again. We set the timer, and stood there shaking. When I tell you those three minutes are the longest three minutes you will ever experience, I mean it.
We counted down and flipped the test over to see the answer clear as day. “YES+”.”
And that’s the story, besties. I will share the video of our reactions when we found out below. I am incredibly grateful, and feel so very blessed to be a mama. More details are coming soon, but I wanted to share this post with you first. I have always used my blog as a diary, and somewhere I can look back on to remember things I may not have clarity on otherwise.
Stay tuned for lots of First Trimester info, hacks + details! Lots of posts already written and coming your way ASAP!